Home » Creative writing » The Monday Rant #4 – The Today Show Does Brangelina

The Monday Rant #4 – The Today Show Does Brangelina

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt at the Cannes fil...

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (via Wikipedia)

I started today’s post hours ago with a rant that even I wouldn’t want to read. I decided to be kind to myself and just let it go. It’s not like I’m on salary to get it done, in which case I’d drop everything else until an entertaining installment was ready and waiting. There’s no penalty if the only things bugging me are big-time life issues that I’m not skilled enough to find the humor in and would rather not write about otherwise.

But a funny thing happened on the way to getting a few chores done. I had the Today show on in the background, and some correspondent I’ve never seen or heard before was reporting on the recent Brangelina engagement. I really don’t care. At this point I’m more into news, weather reports, health stories or at least political gossip, but when I’m running around, I’m not going to keep changing the channel. Anyway, I remember a whole lot of this seven year love story because it was fun interesting to watch so much soap opera going on in the lives of the rich and famous, especially a great-looking nice woman who didn’t seem seem to deserve it at all being dissed in a very public a manner by a couple who seemed so clueless about what they were doing. But I digress.

Jennifer Anniston

Jennifer Anniston (by Exquisite Portraits)

The first thing I noticed during this morning’s story was the reporter explaining how interesting it is that Brad Pitt designed Angelina Jolie’s engagement ring. It must have been my old gossip reflex that made me wait for her to mention that he designed the one he gave Jennifer Anniston, too. But she didn’t say a word about it. I just happen to remember it — but didn’t this reporter do any research? Then she went on about the couple’s previous marriages — Angelina’s past two, including the one to Billy Bob Thornton (man, was that one fun to follow!) and Brad’s to the afore-mentioned Ms. Anniston — but the reporter states that Brangelina started dating after his divorce from Jennifer. WTF! I wish I had this reporter’s name to call her out. There wouldn’t have been any soap opera if the two had begun to date after a formal separation! The juicy part was all about how the happily married Jen seemed to find out she wasn’t, pretty much when we did!

billy bob thornton

billy bob thornton (by eschipul)

Okay, although most of you probably knew this stuff, too, you may be able to tell that I used to be really up on Hollywood gossip. I used to be somewhat of a savant on the subject, if I do say so myself. So here’s where I do a good deed instead of just rant. If the Today show is having so much trouble with its gossip fact-checking (maybe their computers were down or something) they can feel free to call me. Anything from seven years ago and back, and I’m sure I’ll have the info they need tucked away somewhere in my little brain. They don’t even have to pay me. They can just mention my name.

I mean, come on. If they can’t even get the simple gossip right, how am I supposed to trust their hard news?

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16 thoughts on “The Monday Rant #4 – The Today Show Does Brangelina

  1. Ha, I’d forgotten all about this too, but then I’m not a gossip reporter! 😉 I used to be much more into celebrity gossip when I lived in LA (and actors were, in a manner of speaking, my neighbors) and read Go Fug Yourself on a regular basis (which meant I actually knew what people looked like). This was a fun post to read to get me back into at least one of the loops. 😉

    • I’m glad to help, Lisa. It’s interesting how I used to soak up the celebrity news like a sponge. I think it’s because I’ve always been interested in all kinds of artists and wanted to know how they think. I still love a good interview or biography on paper or film. Guess how my eyes bugged out when I read what you said about having had actors for neighbors. 🙂

      • Heh. Not neighbors as in next door, but we definitely had our share of fun sightings at the farmers’ market, the movie theater, or just walking around the neighborhood. 🙂

      • I see what you mean. The Whole Foods I go to most is in Vince Vaughn’s neighborhood. I haven’t seen him yet, but I keep my eyes peeled. It wouldn’t be as good as when I saw Alexander Godunov, but it would add a little fun to the shopping. 🙂

  2. I had no idea that BP designed JA’s ring. eyeroll. I find the Brangelina phenomenon fascinating, and I really do appreciate the activism. (Not that I can remember a SINGLE cause right now. Must be the sight of all the leg uh bling blinding me). I’m very annoyed that they’re trying to rewrite their history to make it sound like they didn’t start with an affair. (Because you can bet the non-researching-by-myself reporter didn’t bother to take more than the Brangelina Press Machine’s copy and tweak it with past marriages). Still, they’ve been together 7 years now. In Hollywood years, that’s like 75 of our real people years. They might as well tie the knot.

    • I appreciate their activism, too. I’m not so sure their reps would try to perpetuate that falsehood about when their affair started, but if that came from their camp, somebody should be ashamed. I’m more inclined to chalk that up to very bad reporting (meaning no research at all.) And seven years … I’m surprised, too, pleasantly. I hope they remain a happy family.

  3. I miss Billy Bob. I miss the old Angie. Remember the blood she wore around her neck in a little bottle? Remember the french kiss with the brother? Nutso in Girl, Interrupted? What happened to her edge? I guess we all have to grow up some day, but still… all this leg and glam and safe and Brad does nothing for me.
    (I miss the rant, tho.)

    • Billy Bob’s a funny, talented guy. I almost bought one of his albums before the money ran out. I think he was good for Angelina because she seemed more who she is now soon after they split up. She used to creep me out. Good about a character in a book or a movie, but scarier about a real person. Of course, when the leg started behaving like it had a mind of its own, my old creeped out feeling twinged a little.

      I hope you don’t mean my rant… it really had crossed some sort of line. Maybe it’ll morph into a story.

  4. This is great. I love the fact that you’re a specialist in a particular Goss period. 🙂 We live in The Cotswolds (in the UK, of course) – it’s not LA – but there are loads of celebrities living in houses hiding behind trees here. It’s both sad and amusing.

    • Thanks, Al. Yeah, I stopped paying so much attention a few years ago.

      I see what you mean about celebrity life being “both sad and amusing.” It’s an interesting thought to be that well known, especially if it’s talent that got one there. But I can’t imagine not being anonymous in a crowd.

    • Of course I do! Doesn’t mean I’ll get it, but I expect no less. If not, they can pay me her salary and let me do it. If I remember correctly, money’s nice. I think I’d work for it.

  5. Braddy as jewelry designer, huh? I picture him strolling into the back room of a little jewelry store in NYC, dumping some little old Jewish man off his stool, strapping on some magnifying goggles and designing away. A lot of us are reformed sinners. I had a couple dumbass indiscretions in my even-dumber-than-now days, with separated women if my memory is correct 😉 , and they left me with nothing but shame. So your rant, as well as those lovely thoughts, made me think of a new t-shirt idea: A picture of the lovely Brangelina, with the caption (something like): “So how come these cheaters get fame, wealth, and glory after their affair, and all I get is a fast trip to hell from mine?” Pretty “Christian-radical”, I guess, which I’m most definitely NOT, but I’ve seen a couple non-famous local couples who went the Brangelina route to courtship, and are still together with a rather cushy life and a long marriage, and it’s always sorta galled me. They (Brangelina) are outgoing activists; they should just ‘fess up to the less-than-stellar beginning and say they’ve learned from it or something.
    Some celebs will go out of their way to praise their fans and thank them; I figure the ones that don’t do that instead “pay us back” for making them rich by having these soap-opera lives for our entertainment. Great rant; can’t wait for more.

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