Home » Uncategorized » A Momentarily Pressing Thought in My Post Valentine’s Day World

A Momentarily Pressing Thought in My Post Valentine’s Day World

A Dramatic View

Now that “Romance Overdrive” and “Why Don’t You Dance With Me, I’m Not No Limburger?!” day is done for another year, I thought I’d take a little time to spill an apropos meditation on the phrase “no drama.” I know what people mean by it when they say they don’t want it in a potential mate, but I don’t see how this ambiguous phrase helps anyone avoid unpleasantness.

When I see “no drama” in a dating profile, I wonder if the writer thinks it weeds out people who would make life more difficult than it already is, or those who would pile on the trouble and heartache. I’m sure anyone with agitation in mind would consider it a challenge to gain their trust. Those who believe the trouble they bring is never their fault will ignore it, and someone ruled by insanity might find it hard to understand or notice the sound of its footsteps gaining.

Isn’t everything drama? Little ones, big ones, ones we’d like to avoid, others that are hard to notice if you don’t pay attention — those that make life sweet… It’s as if they’re saying they don’t like fun. Think of all the fun things there are for two like-minded, romance-minded people to get into. Did you get a mental picture? Was it dramatic? Why did this word come to mostly represent self-indulgence and upheaval? A person who doesn’t appreciate, or recognize, the subtleties of drama wouldn’t appreciate me.

I’d respond better to someone who expresses how they see the world and tosses in examples of what moves them. I want to hear what compels them to stop and look at the life around them. Then they can gauge my reaction and decide if we have enough in common to start talking. “No drama” stops me cold. It feels like shorthand for “I have little imagination.” It reminds me of “no baggage” — as if there are actually people walking the earth whose psyches haven’t constructed a reaction to anything even remotely related to “drama.” One’s response to life experiences is the more important trait to look for. It isn’t prudent or imaginative to overlook that.

Well, that feels just a little better. Like a movie scene visually representing agreement by having the wind blow the edges of my hair and the hem of my robe back dramatically. Refreshing. I’m stepping down from the box now and taking it back inside.

I leave you with the anthem I had on repeat yesterday.

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17 thoughts on “A Momentarily Pressing Thought in My Post Valentine’s Day World

  1. This is a most wonderful post, my thoughts on the subject totally resonate with yours, now that you have been so kind as to put them into words!
    This just sums it up for me: ‘Isn’t everything drama? Little ones, big ones, ones we’d like to avoid, others that are hard to notice if you don’t pay attention — those that make life sweet… It’s as if they’re saying they don’t like fun. Think of all the fun things there are for two like-minded, romance-minded people to get into. Did you get a mental picture? Was it dramatic? Why did this word come to mostly represent self-indulgence and upheaval? A person who doesn’t appreciate, or recognize, the subtleties of drama wouldn’t appreciate me.’

    Listening to your anthem now 🙂

  2. I agree with your analysis! It’s not really a good fun first impression when the candidate is accusatory and negative before they even meet someone. I’ve said “No Drama” before too, but usually at work or with a long-fighting relative. When looking for a potental mate, there has to be passion and not griping.

  3. “Why Don’t You Dance With Me, I’m Not No Limburger?” is one of the funniest sentences/questions i’ve seen. yeah, i feel the same way about “no problem” as you do about “no drama”…the only thing without either is a corpse. yours is a very perceptive thought and post Re. continue…

  4. Great post. There are days when I wish I had an hour or two with no drama. But it does remind us we’re alive. I assume when a person says ‘no drama’ what they are really saying is no to playing emotional games, but there must be a better way to describe what you want in a person you spend time with. I think your suggestions about what moves a person would be much better. Personally I am happy with a person I can be quiet with, but that would probably look strange if I ever had to put it on an application.

    • Thanks, Lisa. I don’t mean the aggravating kind of drama when I praise its everyday virtue, so I totally get what you mean about that hour or two. I hate the idea of the online application/resume, too. But it’s a new dating world for the singletons.

  5. Hi Sparks,

    I love this! It gave me a perspective that I’ve never considered before. I’ve been guilty of putting this in my dating profiles in a futile attempt to escape “bad drama”. Emphasis on the word futile.

    As I was reading this my SO danced past with his own particularly blowsy form of drama, that’s just how he rolls. I don’t think I would have him any other way because I’ve been on the other side of the scale and was, quite frankly, bored to death lmao.

    We each have to determine what is detrimental, uplifting, or tolerable in our particular sphere. It is never as simple as what we attempt to convey in a small space. Dating websites can be an exercise in terror. Everyone wants to put their best foot forward and I’ve spent a lot of time waiting for the other shoe to drop :). Nonetheless, the determined can find gold amongst the dross. It happened to me more than once.

    Thanks so much for sharing that song! I LOVE it !!!!!!

    • I’m glad you liked the post and the song! My head almost shook off my body — I was listening to it as I wrote and dancing so hard in the chair. 🙂

      I’m glad you’ve met good guys on dating sites. I need all the hope I can muster.

  6. OK, I must be way too married over here! “No drama” in a dating profile? Really? Though I am familiar with the phrase, I would never think to post and/or respond to it if I saw it as one of the criteria. Not sure what “no drama” looks like, but my initial thoughts would be “no issues/baggage”. Find me the sucker without any!! Until you make such discovery, keep on dancing! 🙂 Love the video!

    • I see that phrase and others like it all the time, as if they think it helps. Maybe it just spills out and they don’t edit their writing or even realize how off-putting it is. You’re very lucky to be out of this game.

      I’m glad you enjoyed the vintage B52s!

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