Now that “Romance Overdrive” and “Why Don’t You Dance With Me, I’m Not No Limburger?!” day is done for another year, I thought I’d take a little time to spill an apropos meditation on the phrase “no drama.” I know what people mean by it when they say they don’t want it in a potential mate, but I don’t see how this ambiguous phrase helps anyone avoid unpleasantness.
When I see “no drama” in a dating profile, I wonder if the writer thinks it weeds out people who would make life more difficult than it already is, or those who would pile on the trouble and heartache. I’m sure anyone with agitation in mind would consider it a challenge to gain their trust. Those who believe the trouble they bring is never their fault will ignore it, and someone ruled by insanity might find it hard to understand or notice the sound of its footsteps gaining.
Isn’t everything drama? Little ones, big ones, ones we’d like to avoid, others that are hard to notice if you don’t pay attention — those that make life sweet… It’s as if they’re saying they don’t like fun. Think of all the fun things there are for two like-minded, romance-minded people to get into. Did you get a mental picture? Was it dramatic? Why did this word come to mostly represent self-indulgence and upheaval? A person who doesn’t appreciate, or recognize, the subtleties of drama wouldn’t appreciate me.
I’d respond better to someone who expresses how they see the world and tosses in examples of what moves them. I want to hear what compels them to stop and look at the life around them. Then they can gauge my reaction and decide if we have enough in common to start talking. “No drama” stops me cold. It feels like shorthand for “I have little imagination.” It reminds me of “no baggage” — as if there are actually people walking the earth whose psyches haven’t constructed a reaction to anything even remotely related to “drama.” One’s response to life experiences is the more important trait to look for. It isn’t prudent or imaginative to overlook that.
Well, that feels just a little better. Like a movie scene visually representing agreement by having the wind blow the edges of my hair and the hem of my robe back dramatically. Refreshing. I’m stepping down from the box now and taking it back inside.
I leave you with the anthem I had on repeat yesterday.