Home » Creative writing » Pale Green, Chapter 1

Pale Green, Chapter 1

Photo by jhhymas via Flickr

“Are you sure it should be that colour?”

The young painter looked over his shoulder. “Yes, Mr. Ashe. Your Missus chose ‘Pale Willow’ at the shop — to complement the tiles.”

“She knows I can’t abide green.” Ashe surveyed the wall, grimacing. “Why would anyone put green in a kitchen?”

“I’ve seen quite a few, Sir.” He continued cutting in the line along the cabinet.

Ashe surveyed the painter. “Stop. I’ll go get something decent.”

Laying down his brush, the painter glanced at the center of the opposite wall where he and Mrs. Ashe had tested the color to be sure. He turned to Ashe. “Perhaps you could wait for the Missus — choose something together.”

” ‘Perhaps’ you back off. You’ll be paid properly.”

“Yes. I know.”

Ashe left for the store.

The young man waited outside, fingertips grazing his chin, contemplating lovely Mrs. Ashe, the way she’d looked at him the day before, reconsidering his refusal to look back.

***********

This week’s challenge from Julia was to use 158 words or less to include, “Are you sure it should be that colour?” into a story centered on dialogue. Click the link on her name to read this week’s other entries. 

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36 thoughts on “Pale Green, Chapter 1

    • One could see it that way. I think it’s more about subtext, and how one’s personal history informs their view within their experiences.

      Is the painter really thinking of making a play for her? Could he simply be rethinking his looking and listening — things he didn’t allow himself to do before out of a strong sense of decency? Could he simply be understanding the possibility that this couple’s story is much more complex than he’d thought? That everyone’s story is more complex than we think? Also, I believe I included a bit more information about the husband than the “one criticism” you saw of his wife.

      Thanks for dropping by and sharing how you experienced this. I appreciate that.

  1. oooh, lots of unwritten emotion here. Very clever use of the prompt and what isn’t written tells the story as well as what is. Very good indeed. Hmmmm, I am glad I hadn’t read these before posting mine or I wouldn’t have done so. Struggled for ideas this week., this is my favourite so far 🙂

  2. as a professional painter, i am still waiting for a housewife to make a pass.

    i did have one woman who seemed to take an extraordinary interest in my stir-sticks.

    • Well, I don’t know much about ‘housewives’ (don’t like the term myself)… but for any woman who’s looking, it has more to do with whatever charm you possess than it does with your looks.

  3. I love the piece. Very well written – it conjures a lot that isn’t said. Well done.

  4. Classic colour preferences/disagreement between a couple! Love it, the image at the top and how we are left hanging at the end!

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