Thank you William H. Macy for your nude scene in the second episode of the television series, Shameless. My thanks also to the writer/writers of said episode for supplying you with this scene, and to Showtime for airing it.
Perhaps you’ve been naked before in a film or two, and I missed it somehow. Or maybe it wasn’t filmed in a way that did justice to your lusciousness — understated lusciousness, yes, but still the absolute right amount of sinewy muscles that flex when you move, and your un-obnoxious, perfectly executed washboard … this along with that beard and all the wonderful hair on your head! Oh my, I think it’s the hair that’s taking me over the top. Instead of sticking with the same hairstyle I wore as a teenager, I’m still loving some of the hair guys wore when I was younger. Mmm … I’ll give more thought to that later.
I have always thought you were cute (sorry to use such an insipid word, but you have struck me temporarily giddy) yet since Sunday, I’ve been spending a lot of time wondering about my sudden attraction to the look of your Frank Gallagher character. I have never been drawn out of a story before while you were acting. Actually, I wasn’t so much drawn out of this episode, as I was pulled farther into it. The scene at the bathroom door was priceless! And I was very much there with you. Well, at least I wanted to be. I know that you are an incredibly gifted actor, and it’s your skill that has made Frank feel so new and unfamiliar to me — but this attraction has taken me by surprise. I feel a bit faint as I write this …
I do not have any desire at all for Frank Gallagher, the probably usually foul-smelling, awful person and awful father. But a man who looks like him would definitely turn my head; a man who looks like him after a bath; a man who looks like you with long hair and who has an interesting personality — like yours.
I suppose that’s enough. I should stop going on and on and just apologize to you for being so forward. I’m sorry that I don’t sound very sincere about it, but I honestly do understand that if women shouldn’t be seen so much, or shall I say so obviously, by men as sex objects, then men should be afforded that same respect by women. Therefore, I apologize for this superficial tribute. (I hope you noticed that I did acknowledge your artistry.) I also apologize to your wonderful wife and to your family. Please forgive me for, well, all this. And also for all the italicized words.
I will stop now, before I embarrass myself any further.
Very sincerely yours, always and completely,